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my life friends the past what's up you wanna go back? you wanna go back?
Life On Mars?
It's the end of the world
quantum_paradox
The serious moonlight!

my favorite song, so surreal right now

Official video for David Bowie - Space Oddity. David Bowie (Five Years 1969 – 1973) is available to pre-order as 2 beautifully packaged Limited Edition box s...
YOUTUBE.COM

one of my faves, so profound. getting misty eyed.

Music video by David Bowie performing Life On Mars?. Taken from the album 'Heroes' Buy the David Bowie back catalogue on iTunes here: http://smarturl.it/bowi...
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Watching /listening to Bowie videos on YouTube, had to get up and dance

Music video by David Bowie performing Let's Dance. Taken from the album 'Heroes' Buy the David Bowie back catalogue on iTunes here: http://smarturl.it/bowiei...
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Mike Grimm's photo.
Mike Grimm

bowies last photo. january 8th 2016

Werk smerk, we should all get this day off, to mourn our great hero.

Watching David Bowie videos on my lunch, love this one.

Music video by David Bowie performing Loving The Alien.
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Crying

Listen on Google Play Music
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Well I just cried while singing wild is the wind and making breakfast. Today is going to be hard. A great man has been taken from this earth. RIP Bowie.

David Bowie helped me discover who I was when I was 12

Listen on Google Play Music
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A hero has fallen. David Bowie has been my favorite since middle school. He was my first real hero. I'm pretty sad. I've always said that I needed to see him play before he died and now that time has passed. I hope I can work tomorrow lol. This is a pretty heavy blow. We can be heroes, just for one day...

David Bowie has died after a battle with cancer, his rep confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter. He was 69.
WWW.HOLLYWOODREPORTER.COM
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No match for a good blaster at your side's photo.Listening to the first Bowie album I bought, Changes Bowie. I was introduced to David Bowie through watching Labyrinth for the first time in middle school, whenDanielle said I might like this movie and it was about a girl and a boy. She gave me her VHS recorded from HBO labeled, Labyrinth/Enemy Mine. I then bought Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars: The Motion Picture. I was hooked. I also bought the book, We Could Be Heroes, which I am going to read again now for the first time since high school.
Listen on Google Play Music
PLAY.GOOGLE.COM

Gimme your hands, cause you're wonderful


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interview bowie looking back



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Happy Bowie
Music video by David Bowie performing DJ.
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Absolutely love this one, so great

Music video by David Bowie performing Boys Keep Swinging.
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I used to have my own dance that I made up for this one.

Music video by David Bowie performing Fashion.
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quantum_paradox
Since I was 12 I have been an avid fan of David Bowie.  He was my hero.  He passed away from liver cancer 3 days ago.  I have been complety crest fallen, crushed, depressed.  He kept his 18 month illness a secret from the public.  I found out the night/early morning when Jason and I got back from using my Christmas present, going to Disneyland.  Jason announced he had passed away.  I stayed up listening on my headphones in shock for 2 hours before going to sleep.  The next morning I sang Wild is the Wind and cried and watched Heroes on YouTube and cried.  The next day I cried while watching Space Oddity on Youtube while I was on my lunch.  I've been misty eyed a few times today.  I've never been so sad about someone I didn't know personally.

sounds: David Bowie

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My Mother passed away on March 19th, 2014.  She was a wonderful Mother, I loved her very much.  Her death was unexpected.  No one knew of her condition and there were no warning signs.  I am still coping with the fact that this is a reality and not some farce.  The anniversary of her passing is looming too quickly, in just 3 months.  We just finished with Christmas not two weeks ago and now her anniversary is coming up so fast.  Too fast.  I miss her so much.  Each day I am reminded of the beauty she left on this earth.  Her caring and compassion.  I couldn't of asked for a nicer person to raise me as a mother.  She loved to dance and sing.  She was a teacher of mentally challenged and emotionally disturbed children.  She also taught Sunday school at her church.
She passed from Bronchial Pneumonia combined with a heart condition, cardiac fibrosis.  I just learned the second part of that over the Christmas break from my sister-in-law, Jenny.  She told me this information can be hereditary, so I have called my doctor and they are going to call me back tomorrow afternoon for a consoltation.

  My best friend, Jessica has mentioned to me a couple of times to see a greif conselor.  I have not done thins, I don't feel comfortable in discussing my personal feelings and emotions with a stranger.  So I thought journaling would help me to write down how I am feeling, so that I don't have to bottle it all up inside.  Today has been a high anxiety day for me.  It feels like a hand is crushing at my heart.  I wanted to leave work early today because I couldn't stop crying toward the last hour of my shift, but I stuck it out.  It was hard to talk on the phone to customers without my voice quavering.

  I was 32 when she passed, now I am 33.  I am not done with having a mother.  I still have a need for her to call me and talk with me about what is going on in each other's lives.  I just broke down crying when I typed that last sentence.  I envisoned myself having an elderly mother, like she had with my grandmother who is in her early 90's now.  My Mother was only 62 when she passed.  This is the last picture that was sent to me by my Dad before she passed.  He captioned it, "Getting ready for the Sochi Games."
IMG_0231
How could she of passed so recently after this picture was taken?  She was so healthy and active with no symptoms.  My parent's moved to Colorado a few years ago to live near my nieces.  In this picture she was cross country skiing.  No matter how much time has passed, I keep expecting her to give me a call and tell me about her week.  For her to talk about how she had been grading papers and she was still in her classroom.  

emo?: grieving

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I took midol earlier and it is keeping me up.  I have to be at work at 6:30.    we are going to LA this weekend.  we are giving Brad a letter on Friday after work letting him know he has 6 months to move out.  I am really looking forward to not having a roommate again.  we called my dad tonight and let him know.  my life will be so much better with no one in my house.  Jason and I can be ourselves again without any  interruptions. :-D I am beyond stoked about this prospect.  we are getting our lives back.  we have been sharing my parents condo with Brad for the last two years.  we are going to get a queen bed for the new so spare room after Brad leaves.   I can't wait! this is very exciting B-) ⏰🌈🍀📆🎊🎉👍🙌😁

Tags:
emo?: thoughtful thoughtful
sounds: dryer and snoring

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Dear Livejournal,

It has been a long time since my last entry.  I am living in my parent’s condo in Ocean Beach and loving it.  Jason and I have a room and we have Brad as our roommate.  Karl moved out not long after moving in to get a place of his own near his work, we haven’t hung out with him since as it was rather messy when he broke the lease with my parents. 

I am very proud of my best friend Jessica Napkin as she recently graduated from Grossmont College and is looking into Universities.  She is also in the process of writing a book called Four Eyes and Grenadine.  I have gone to a couple dive bars with her to give her some chapters.  She is excited to get started on her next book in the near future and hopes to be finished with her first this month in June.

At the condo there is some drama in regards to a gas leak with the decorative fireplaces.  When we first moved in there was a gas leak and we called SD&E and they shut off the gas in the entire building.  We had no hot water for a couple of weeks.  They cut holes in the walls to repair the gas lines and they separated the water from the gas.  They holes were repaired recently and now there have been different times where we have smelled gas and called SDG&E again.  The last time they came out they said it wasn’t a problem yet, but could develop into a larger leak in the future.  My parents called us and said the downstairs neighbor is causing some drama and if he tries to confront us about it to tell him to contact my parents and not me.  That neighbor has done some illegal changes on his fireplace and it may be the cause of the leak.  We were confronted by a different neighbor when we were taking groceries out of Jason’s car.  He smelled like hemp and was breathing in my face.  When I had no response he started talking to Jason and he has been the one in contact with SDG&E and he told us not to contact SDG&E next time and to tell him instead and keep a list of the times and dates of when we smell the gas.

We have a spare room now as Karl moved out and my Mom is coming to stay from Colorado for my Nana’s birthday.  I am picking her up from the airport this Friday at midnight.  She is going to stay with my Aunt Vicki afterwards and then my sister-in-law Jenny and my nieces Autumn and Elizabeth are coming on Sunday to stay with us for two nights.

That reminds me I need to call my Mom tonight to check with her about Father’s day.  Mental note, haha.

I have never had a spare room before. 

Rambo, Brad’s cat has peed on our futon that is in the spare room twice now.  The first time it happened we used two bottles of the urine destroyers to soak it out for weeks.  Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a futon cover and put it on a few days ago.  Right after having the cover on Rambo peed on the futon again.  We spent all day yesterday washing the cover and pillows and did other loads of laundry as well and cleaned the bathrooms.  Brad has gout from drinking and he can’t help us clean the living room, kitchen, balconies and windows.

I also need to clean out my car and go to a car wash.  My head light is out but I will wait until I am not broke as a joke to fix that.

We just got back from Punk Rock Bowling in Vegas so we are wiped for cash.

My sister-in-law is planning for my parent’s wedding anniversary this year and wants me to come out there to Colorado on July 18th to have a party to celebrate their 40th.  If I don’t take any days off from here until when she wants me to come I will have two days of PTO.  


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I am having an off day.  I feel like I am stuck in a bad dream where I can’t wake up.  It may have something to do with the fact that I had a nightmare and woke up from it right before my alarm went off thinking I could just fall back asleep and lay peacefully, but instead I was thrown straight into my day.  I guess you could call it getting up on the wrong side of the bed.  My nightmare was about a dude who was in a torture chamber and got put into an iron maiden.  He was still alive when they took him out, but then he ran outside into traffic screaming like a cat and fell over and died.

I am glad it is Friday.  I am so hungry today, but I am trying not to eat snacks at work and my lunch is in a few minutes.  I am going to the liquor store on my lunch to get a cup o soup and a red bull.

I’ve been into watching girlie movies lately.  I watched Now and Then the other day and Boys on the Side before that.  I added a bunch of other movies to my Netflix last night.  I am going to girl out.  But I should have Dexter in the mail when I get home, that I will watch first. 

My supervisor brought in some chocolate truffles to work today to share and now I want to go buy some.  I need body wash anyway so I will go to Ralph’s after work and then go to the pet store to get cat food.    

I can’t wait to go back to school; I need to find out when I can register for a class.  I hope I can take an English class.  I wonder what it will be like.  I hope it doesn’t stress me out; hopefully I will enjoy the class, which would be ideal.  I am looking forward to going back to school.

I slammed my baby toe into the metal speaker stand last night, after I had just washed cat barf off of the same foot.  I thought it might have been broken, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.  It was pretty bad last night though.  I couldn’t get to sleep for a long time because of the pain.  I was coughing a lot last night too, so I didn’t sleep very well. 

Jason has been talking about getting a used exercise bike off of craigslist.  I told him I still want to get a treadmill, but he said he can’t use that because of skateboarding messing up his knees.  He said if I got a treadmill to put it in the garage, but I told him the whole point is so you can watch TV while running and we don’t have one in the garage.  It’s not like I will ever be able to afford a treadmill though.  Insurance starts on the 1st and that will be $300.00 a month.

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On Friday my Mom took me shopping for my birthday and she bought me pants and shoes.  I bought myself a belt.  On Saturday we celebrated my step-grandpa Dan’s 94th birthday.  We went to Casa De Pico and had a nice dinner.  My Aunt gave me two turtles that have the string attached to make the head wobble.  She got them in Arizona.  My Nana gave me a card with $20; my Mom gave me a card with $10 and later told me to buy a bra with it since we didn’t get a chance to buy one on Friday.  I bought dinner with it last night.  I ordered Etna’s delivery as both of us are not feeling well still and Jason and I shared Pesto Alfredo pasta with garlic bread, I ate the side Cesar salad and we also got Dr. Pepper.  I had plans to eat dinner with Jessica at Brian’s, but I called her and canceled as I was not feeling well.  I hope I feel better for my birthday next weekend.    

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 I am sick. I have had fevers off and on since 1pm. I am trying to stick it out because I don’t think I have a full 8 hours yet until tomorrow. If I am still feeling sick in the morning I will call in if I do in fact have 8 hours of PTO.

I am no longer taking Japanese. My refund should process this week. Then I need to see about returning my books. It was way too stressful for me to take that class. Now I have to wait until December to take a different class.

Last weekend was Awesome Fest. I didn’t go to every show because I am sick. But Friday was the best day.

I really need to start exercising as soon as I am not sick anymore, like every day. I really am getting fat.
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